23rd April 1940

The girl with the teeth from the buffet walked the last few yards into work with me and said she’d seen the piece in the paper and knew I had the doctor “sniffing round” and had put two and two together.  Of course if I’d asked her she would have told me that he was married with children.  And that he had a taste for younger girls.  If she’d have known that I was actually going out with him she’d have been round to tell me.  Apparently he used to be her cousin’s doctor until he tried it on with her.  Ought to have been struck off years ago.

Then Molly from parcels turned up as I was hanging my coat up, like she’d been waiting for me.  She’d seen it as well – knew it was me.  And of course Mr Hardy knew.  I feel like everyone knows and that they all think I was up to no good. They don’t believe me when I tell them that I was about to insist that he take me home.  Mrs F says that it will all go away in a week or two when something else happens.  But I feel sure that Mum and Dad or Susan will somehow find out and think the worst. 

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22nd April 1940

It was in today’s paper – the local evening one- a big piece on page 4.  It did mention me.  It said that he had been dining with a young lady from the local area named Miss Bradshaw.  I suppose it’s quite a common name.  I haven’t been to work today, I got Joan to tell Mr Hardy that I’d been ill all night but she was very disapproving.  I suppose I’d better go tomorrow.

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The published version includes part 2 - only part 1 will be blogged.

21st April 1940

I’ve spent most of today in bed, being spoon fed brandy by Joan and sleeping inbetween.  I had no sleep at all last night but I feel awake now and I want to write down everything that happened.

Dr B collected me at the station, like he said he would.  He was so attentive, I had a rug tucked round my knees and he had a couple of flasks in easy reach, one with tea in and the other with whiskey, which I will never drink again as long as I live.  I can still smell it now.  It was on his breath.  He drove us for miles, right out of town, up into the hills and then a bit further.  I thought we might end up back at home, but we turned off and went the other way towards Wyke.  After a bit we stopped at a big wayside pub.  One of those big modern looking ones set back from the main road with a car park and everything.  So we went inside and it was lovely.  He’d even booked a table for us to have a three course meal.  I let him choose what we had – some locally caught fish then a lovely pudding with custard!  He said we should have wine with our meal so I had a big glass.  After that he took me into the bar and got me a gin.  After the wine I felt all relaxed and didn’t really worry about having too much and what might happen.  He seemed to be sat closer and closer to me until he was practically on my knee.  He ordered me  another gin and then whispered in my ear that he was in love with me and would I like to take a room for the night?  I just didn’t know what to do, I wasn’t expecting that at all and I dashed to the ladies’ room to catch my breath and think what to do.  I had decided  to insist that he drive me home that instant and went back to the bar when I saw that there was a commotion  around the table where we had been sitting.  As I got near I saw that Dr B was just slumped, face down onto the table with his arms dangling down by his sides.  A young woman pushed through them, saying that she was a nurse.  She felt all over for a pulse and couldn’t get one. She said it looked like heart attack.

Well, she was right.  He was taken to the infirmary and I got dropped home by the police, who asked me all sorts of questions about him that I couldn’t answer.  They went to do some investigating and came back later to tell me that he had died of a heart attack and also that he was married with four children.  Mrs F was cross that her evening got spoilt and Joan has been giving me her disapproving look.  I think it will be in a newspaper and what if they mention me?  It’s the curse it has to be.  Even Joan says she’s beginning to wonder.

19th April 1940

Dr B called by my ticket window today and asked me if I wanted to go for a drive with him tomorrow afternoon.  Well, I thought, that would get me out of the buffet girl outing which I don’t really fancy.  And he promised me dinner at a nice pub by a lake, which does sound nice. A change from these grey old streets. He said to come prepared for a nice long drive.  I had to ask him about his petrol ration but he tapped his nose and told me not to worry.  So he’s picking me up outside the station at one.  I’ve told him I’ve got to stay out quite late for Mrs F.  He just smiled and said it was perfect.  Oh well, might get my supper bought too.

18th April 1940

Mrs F has asked if Joan and I can go out on Saturday evening because she wants to have Bill next door but one round for some supper.  Apparently he’s going to coach her on what to do in case of invasion so we’ll all three of us stay safe.  I said didn’t we all ought to be there then but Mrs F said no, we were to leave all the worrying to her as head of the household.  Joan says that there is an outing being planned by the buffet girls who aren’t on shift that we can go on.  I’m not sure I fancy it, especially if that girl with the big teeth is going to be there.  I really don’t like her, she talks down to me.

16th April 1940

Dr B is back.  Says he was called away to Manchester for a few days for a reason he couldn’t say.  As if I’d be interested.  He says that he will come and take me out shortly.  I have to wait on him it seems.  I feel a bit guilty that I didn’t check if he was ill I suppose.  I expect I shall go out with him.  I could prove once and for all that there’s nothing in that curse, that it’s all been coincidence.

12th April 1940

Not seen Dr B all week.  Seems he might have got the message but I still feel a bit disappointed for some reason.  I suppose he’s alright in a Leslie Howard sort of way.  But he’s much too old for me.

Mr Hardy going on about the Nazis invading Scandinavia, he says it won’t be long before we get a taste of that, mark his words.  I wonder if I should be doing something more.  But I don’t know what.  The knitting is coming along well, I even take it to work for when its quiet – but it is boring and my finger hurts.

I wonder.  That curse and Dr B.  We did dance.  Did I ought to find out if he’s ill or anything?

6th April 1940

Well guess who turned up at the dance – just fancy that.  Joan and me had just broken off for a drink and we were having a giggle at some of the clumsy footwork when I got a tap on my shoulder.  There was Dr B, all done up in his finest.  He said that he’d come especially to dance with me so I couldn’t very well say no, but I said that it had to be just one because I couldn’t very well leave Joan on her own.  So we had one dance and then we let him buy us both drinks for a couple of hours.  He gave us a lift home in his car then, which I accepted before I realised that he would then know where we live.  So I had him drop us two streets away and we dashed down an alley to make sure that he couldn’t see where I was going.  Well, who should we run into but Mrs F and Bill next door but one, leaning up against the side of a house in what might be called a passionate embrace.  She followed us in ten minutes later and all she said was that if she knew we were out she would have brought him into the warm.  Mrs F is very brazen.  But very funny.  When we told her about Dr B she said that free medical treatment was not to be sniffed at and that I should go out with him alone in his car and get him to check me over.  I’d better be careful about Mum reading this diary when I go home.

2nd April 1940

Had a letter from Susan. She says she’s got even bigger now, which seems impossible.  She also says that Edith is pregnant again.  She never was much good at learning stuff.

4^th April 1940

Dr B passed by my ticket window and just raised his hat at me.  Then he doubled back on himself and came to ask me what I was up to on Saturday night.  I told him that I was going out dancing with someone, but he winkled out of me that the someone was Joan and not a young lad, which I hoped to hint at.  That seemed to please him.

1st April 1940

Bill from next door but one has been round and put the potatoes in this afternoon.  Mrs F just stood and watched – said she’d had a manicure.  Poor Bill.  Mind you, I think she made up for it after.  She went round to his house with something for his back and was gone for an hour.  I think his children were out too.

31st March 1940

He was waiting for me again tonight.  I agreed to just one drink again and he tried to get me to have some gin but I stood firm and just had orange.  I could really have murdered a cup of tea and a sit by the fire – that ticket window gets so cold sometimes.  He wanted to see me home but I dashed off before he got up out of his chair!

29th March 1940

I told Mr Hardy about last night and he does seem a bit worried about me.  He offered to make sure that I’m seen off the station and advised me to have someone meet me.  I think that’s going over the top.  Dr B’s just a bit over friendly.  Perhaps a bit lonely.  He didn’t mention a wife or anything so he probably just craves some female company.  Anyway he wasn’t there this evening so he’s hardly shadowing me.

28th March 1940

Had a lot of the morning to myself now that I’m on the new shift.  I went into town before going into work and treated myself to a bag of toffee and a cotton scarf.  Before my shift started I went in the buffet for a tea and a bun and a chat with Joan.  Well, my doctor friend turned up to buy a cup of tea while he watched for his train.  Turned out he’d been to an emergency and was running late.  He took over mine and Joan’s conversation and tried to find out where we live and who with and where we go dancing – all sorts of information.  Anyway, then he asked me what time I finish work,  I felt I had to tell him because he phrased it so innocently but Joan said after he’d gone that I should have said half an hour after the real finish time.  Well, she was right because when I knocked off and went out onto the concourse there he was waiting for me.  He wanted to take me to the Station Hotel for a drink and I said that I really had to get back because I had so much to do but he just wouldn’t take no for an answer.  I refused to have an alcoholic drink and just went in for one.  That seemed to satisfy him for now anyway but I must say that I dashed home very quickly.  Joan said that I shouldn’t have gone at all but Mrs F said that I should encourage him if he’s a doctor – he’ll have plenty of money and can heal himself if I make him ill.  I’m sure if Mum and Dad knew about Mrs F they’d come and remove me from this house.

27th March 1940

Mrs F insisted on having a dry run on what to do should we have an air raid.  I suppose it was quite a good idea as we now know that we need to have a bag of provisions by the back door, and Joan also thought to count the steps to Bill next door but one’s cellar in case we have to go there in the pitch dark.  We spent half an hour with Bill in his cellar.  He and Mrs F spent the whole time discussing what we should grow in the back yard.  In the end he offered to do the gardening for her.  He’s going to pop round next week and put her some spuds in.

26th March 1940

Mr F left this afternoon, to all our relief. It feels like a big weight has been lifted, Joan and I sat in total silence for a good half hour after tea.  Very relaxing!  Then Mrs F insisted that we went to the pub with her and she bought me my first gin.  It tasted a bit like the medicine cabinet but I liked how it warmed me up.

Going to do a different shift at work for a while – I’ll be there later.  I think Mr Hardy might be moving me out of my doctor friend’s way.  He was at it again yesterday morning, holding the queue up.